Self-perceptions of ageing

We asked people what it was like growing older. Ageing was generally experienced as a gradual process that people did not worry much about. Some people felt the same as when they were young, and others felt they had grown in terms of their experience, knowledge, confidence and self-acceptance. There was also more tolerance toward others. A positive attitude was seen as an asset for being able to make the most of each day.

For most participants ageing has been a gradual, normal and inevitable process. Several people said they do not feel old, either because they see the world as they always have, they are able to do everything they want to do or because they interact a lot with young people (see Friends and community: Kaye).

People accepted that ageing is part of the life course which often entails aches and pains and reduced capacity to do things (see The ageing body). While health was important for quality of life, people were not concerned about their chronological age. They tended to adapt their activities and interests to suit their abilities, and got on with life.

People tended to enjoy the smaller things in life more as they grew older, such as gardening and reading and the company of friends and family (see Interests and activities; see Family relationships; see Friends and community). A few people lamented about the ‘old days’ when they were younger and used to go dancing or ride their bike at night. Kaye pointed out that, in her opinion, the current generation is more focussed on material goods rather than valuing people.

Participants spoke about the wealth of experience they have accumulated over their lifetime. They also felt more knowledgeable, more intelligent or able to understand the world better in their older years. Several people pointed out that this knowledge and experience should be utilized to help teach young people.

With experience and knowledge, people became more confident and self-accepting as they grew older. People spoke about knowing themselves better, accepting their body, not being consumed with how they look and forgiving themselves. There was a sense that people became more ‘comfortable in their skin’ as they aged.

People we spoke to said they also became more patient as they got older. People described being more tolerant, less likely to bear grudges, not getting annoyed with people as easily and being more understanding. An example of this is that Marjorie was disappointed because her husband’s health issues meant they have had a very different life after retirement than the travel they had planned. She explained that she has only recently reached a point of acceptance and has modified her expectations in order “to do more things together that he is capable of doing”.

Several people said it was easier for them to speak up and say what they wanted now that they were older. This was because they felt more freedom to be who they were, they were less likely to care what others thought or they did not feel they had to be as diplomatic as when they were younger.

Many people spoke about the importance of having a positive attitude in their older years. People confronted health problems and made the best of every day. They tended to be grateful for what they had and liked to focus on being happy.