Future goals and aspirations - Healthtalk Australia

When we asked people about their hopes and goals for the future, there was a very diverse range of responses. The most common aspirations for the future centred around health, family, philanthropy and personal development.

Remaining healthy and independent were two of the main goals mentioned by participants. Several people said they wanted to live for another 10 years or until they reached 100, as long as they were in good health and not a burden on anybody. Staying active and productive were important aspects of a healthy life.

Colleen’s goals are to keep healthy and enjoy every day.

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Brian X believes you can control your own destiny to a large extent. He hopes to stay healthy and not be a burden on anyone.

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I’d like to try and stay as healthy as I can and not be a burden on anybody. That’s the biggest fear I’ve got, that something would happen that I would become incapacitated and find it difficult to look after myself. That’s a big worry.

Who are you worried about being a burden on?

Anybody. I think it’s not only your family; it’s your neighbours, people that I’m connected with in the volunteer situation. I’m not saying that it’s going to happen but it’s something that I would be concerned about. You know, if I had a stroke or was incapacitated and I had to depend on somebody to look after me and lost the dignity that I so richly crave now.

The main thing you can… it’s not planning but it’s looking after yourself as far as your diet and your exercise goes. It must have a bearing on your wellbeing. I mean, we control our own destiny to a certain extent. If you go and eat the wrong food or you drink the wrong stuff, you know, we control that. It’s not up to somebody else to dictate those terms. You control your own destiny.

Elaine H hopes that she can keep her memory and live to a ripe old age.

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I would hope that I could keep my memory, which I probably won’t but I would hope so. I don’t mind living to a ripe old age in that case, but then again if the memory’s gone I won’t know will I? But I would hope – I’ve always said I’d rather have my father’s body and my mother’s brain, but I haven’t. I haven’t got her body but I haven’t got her brain, it was brilliant till the minute she died. But dad wasn’t, he had dementia.

For people who had health problems, getting their health back on track was their main goal. Others hoped for a quick and painless death, and that they would be able to remain in their own home to that point (see Housing.

Robyn has renewed hopes for her health and is looking forward to swimming in the pool, playing with her grandchildren and enjoying life.

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Well, first of all, I didn’t see much beyond another five or six years, up until a few weeks ago, and that was because I just could see the diminishing aspects of my health and I really didn’t– I was quite depressed by it. In having bitten the bullet and gone off to seek advice and support and tests, etc. and now have found that I do have this underlying issue that is treatable, I have some really big goals. I have a goal which is to not have to rely on a walker, which is part of losing weight that I’ve been carrying for 40 years and struggling always with dieting and now finding that there’s an answer to that. I’m looking forward to being able to swim in the pool on a regular basis and just love that freedom of movement and to play around with the kids on my day off and to talk about what my experiences are and what my joy is in life and what stimulates their funny bone and them to tell me stories.

We had the most hilarious story the other day when we had dinner together for my birthday and they said, “And, Nanna, you’re 66,” I said, “Yes, isn’t it fantastic?” And, they said, “And, when are you going to die?” And, I thought, isn’t that amazing that in terms of context, 66 to a five year old is just, it’s like being on the moon. But, because I’ve never shared what my life is really all about, and we haven’t had the conversation about how long their grandparents live to, or what those expectations are about and what they’re going to grow up to in terms of adulthood and how they’re mother and father are going to be then old and what it all looks like. I have to say that’s just a joy to even think about. Being able to share that with them.

Family featured strongly in people’s hopes and aspirations, particularly grandchildren. This ranged from having new grandchildren, watching them grow and develop their talents, to teaching them religious and spiritual beliefs. Guymun and Elaine M both looked forward to their grandchildren looking after them in their older years. People also spoke about the hopes they had for their children – that they would get married or that they could spend more quality time with them.

Rebecca hopes her children will get married and she will become a grandma. She feels her life will be fulfilled when she holds her grandchild.

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My hopes are my son to get married and my daughter to – they going to kill me if I say that – for them to be happy, to have a partner and maybe – maybe to become a grandma, this is my hope. I just want to see little kids, just to hold my grandson or daughter. I think that will be my – how can I put it, I feel fulfilled in my life I’ve been here that, you know, the second generation. If I’m lucky, if I’m lucky enough, for me it will be a bonus. I can’t complain, as I said to you, but that would be just the happiest for me, just to see a healthy, you know, grandchild.

In their older years, people wanted to give something back to the community and this often involved helping children. This could be volunteering to help sick, disabled or disadvantaged children or providing scholarships and better opportunities for bright children. Others hoped for more widespread change, such as an end to war.

Tamara hopes she can stay well so she can continue to send packages to the orphans in Ukraine.

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Translated: Yes, in the same way. I said to God, I will send parcels as long as You give me strength and health. Once, I became very ill [with back pain], my nerve was entrapped, I started to cry not because I was ill but I cried saying: “Oh Lord, what will my orphans do? Who will send them something? No one will send.” And I was crying about the orphans, I was not crying because my nerve was entrapped.

Sabihe hopes to see an end to senseless wars. She is glad she has volunteered at a Children’s Hospital where she helped to make sick children happy.

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My hope is that I live to the day that the world peace is announced. My daughter get married, my youngest son get married. I always sing that song “If I Ruled the World”, nobody would have any pain. Yeah, I want to see a happier world. All these senseless wars should stop. And children shouldn’t live in poverty. I agree with Bob Hawke, unfortunately he didn’t achieve it, but, in a way I have achieved a lot of it. I’ve made a lot of little kids, sick kids that I worked with, very happy.

While she does not hope for world peace, Lan believes she can do little things to help the people around her, and in doing so she receives great benefit.

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I’m at the other end of the spectrum now you know, hopes, like for the world, no that’s like no. I’m too little to think about for the world. For the future just live a good life, be good to people. It’s the same goal, just you might do it differently as you get older. You may not have the energy, you may not be able to do it, but the little that you can do, you do. See because I’m 72 and I wouldn’t say things like “oh we hope the world would be at peace,” and then you hope that, but I can’t say that, because I can only do the little things that I do that might be, that will affect people around me. And I think that’s how it starts. But I can’t change the world at large, I can change the lives of people around me by making them a little bit happier, that’s it, isn’t it? I can’t say “oh, no carbon in the air”, I can’t do that. No carbon, no pollution in Beijing, oh come on, no pollution in Beijing that’s not possible at the moment. But you’re such a tiny drop of water in such a big ocean and I’m not one of those persons that can aspire to be a president, so you affect people around you, you do the little things you can for people around you. For them, for yourself. Sometimes you think oh it’s for them, sometimes it’s not, it’s for yourself. This great idea of helping people, sometimes I think you help yourself even more, because you are happy, you gain.

A few men we spoke with took a more pessimistic view and said they had no hopes for the future. Denis felt that you lose ambition as part of the ageing process. Other people tended to not look too far into the future and instead had short-term goals for the weeks and months ahead.

Hans does not think about the future because he feels there is nothing there for him.

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Well I don’t have any hopes for the future because I don’t think I can think about the future because there’s nothing there as far as I’m concerned. I think it’s folly to think about the future because there would be no interest for me. No, because I got my world here and that’s all I have and there’s nothing else.

So it’s more about having your daily routine and your interests rather than having an aspiration for what comes next year or–?

What comes next to you is fundamentally, I don’t think that interests me. I think they’ve gone to the moon and all those things and I think it’s a waste of money if you ask me because how the hell can you live there with those suits on and all that. I mean that doesn’t agree with me, it’s just ridiculous. They can do a lot more good in the world, the world is shabby as it is.

Tamara believes you need to have fun and a plan for the future because sadness can affect your health.

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Translated: My family extend my life, because I have a lot of plans for the future. When a person sits in front the TV most of the time, and does not work and build plans, they might die sooner. I work a lot with them [my family], and I need to provide a lot of care for my big family. Most importantly we have peace in our family; they will extend my life. We laugh a lot with my grandchildren. We don’t have time to feel sad; sadness may negatively affect your health. We always have fun.

Personal development and travel were two areas in which people had hopes for the future. Some wanted to learn a musical instrument, have their writing published, further their education or pursue their creative hobbies. Others wanted to travel around Australia and have more overseas holidays, however, they did point out that travel gets harder as you age. Experiencing more joy in life was an aspiration for several participants (see, for example, Robyn and Colleen above).

Margaret is looking forward to more adventurous holidays. She wants to live life to the full and have no regrets.

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I want to go to New Zealand and do all those action things like that huge big flying fox that goes over the water out from the mountain. Mind you I’ve done skydiving. Yeah, I did that at 60. No, I did 61, jumped out of a plane which is an interesting incident because I had a frozen shoulder so I couldn’t do this [arms out], I had to do this [one arm in]. And I, but fortunately where you pull the cord I could do it this side so I did the corkscrew all the way down because I was determined I was going to get every benefit out of that one jump.
And keep pushing and discovering who I am, what I’m capable of, and I don’t think that’ll ever stop. And I don’t want it to stop. I want to just be able to live life fully so on my death bed I know I can say I’ve done it all, I’ve achieved what I wanted, I’ve had all the experiences that I wanted to achieve and I have no regrets.

Participants also spoke about the legacy they wanted to leave behind, which most often involved writing books and passing knowledge to children. Several people were writing their family history, their own story or organising family documents to be archived in the library.

For Katherine, writing books is an opportunity to contribute to knowledge and have something remain after she passes.

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I don’t want to die, because as I say, I have so many things that I want to do. I’ve got four books in my head that I can’t find the time to put down. Including the life of my father, who I think was a great man, and I just have to face the fact that I have to stay alive as long as I can and do as much as I can. And what’s left over will have to be done by someone else or not done. I think the difference between humans and any other animal on this earth is we have the opportunity and the knowledge that we can leave something behind us that would never have existed if we hadn’t existed. So creativity to me is very important.

So can you tell me a bit more about this idea of leaving something behind you?

Well, I could quote from the last page of my book, I suppose, my autobiography, where I say that pretty much what I’ve said just now, that I don’t fear death as a thing, only as a process, and that – I think that one of the things we can do is leave something behind us, and my books, I hope, will be one of the things that will show that I passed by, and maybe that will be one of them.

Val is writing her family history and distributing memorabilia as a legacy for her family.

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Well I haven’t taken up [philanthropic] projects like Austin [my husband]. I’ve been too busy writing and I’ve been wanting to get off my chest some of the family history particularly. I think we’re rather unique in that each person has eight great-grandparents, my eight and Austin’s eight all came to Australia and that really is pretty unusual. A lot of them came to Ballarat for gold in the 1850s, some of mine went on the land so that I’ve had a bit of a project to use up all the memorabilia and stuff that I’ve got and give it to the families, have the book that explains all about it and get rid of about three or four filing cabinets I’ve got full of stuff so that’s why I’ve been writing, so that’s getting well on the way. I’ve got one family, one of my great-grandmother’s families I’m going to do next so that’s one of the things I’ve been doing, so to leave some sort of legacy for the families.

Leaving their children with large sums of money was not so important to the people we spoke with, although some did take great pleasure in giving their children money now and sharing their joy. The legacy people wanted to leave for their children was more likely to be knowledge and that they had raised their children to be good people.

Des would like to be able to pass on all his knowledge to his children, but knows they need to make their own mistakes.

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I think the thing that I would love to do – and this is positive – I would love to be able to give my children my knowledge. If it was possible to put a hat on my head and press a button and transfer all the information like you can with a computer, I think that would be absolutely wonderful. I mean, like, to talk to [my neighbour] around the corner – she is 96, she was bombed out three times during the war, and she’ll tell you what it feels like to cross, turn around the corner, and your house isn’t there, and you don’t know who was at home when it became a pile of bricks, you know? Things like that, which – yeah, I think that it would be great to be able to pass that information on, but it never even works with your own kids, Kayli. They’re always going to make the mistakes, whether you tell them.

Marlene is teaching her grandson about Buddhism. She believes knowledge is power and would like to share it with others.

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I’m just imparting my Buddhism to my second grandson because he wants to know all about it. It’s very hard to try and get him to understand but I’m trying. He’s ten. [My grandson] said, “Nanna, you promised.” “Yes, I know I promised.” So I’ve taken him over the temple and they’ve learnt respect, to take your shoes off, all those little things they’ve learnt. Yes, knowledge is power and if you can impart your knowledge to others, that’s what it’s all about, I think.