Victoria’s Mental Health Act 2014 sets out as a key principle that mental health services should be provided ‘with the aim of bringing about the best possible therapeutic outcomes and promoting recovery and full participation in community life’ (section 11(b)). One meaning of ‘participation’ recognises the right of all citizens to be socially included. Many of the carers interviewed described the impact of caring on their social interactions with the wider community. (See also Impact of caring on relationships with family; and Family and Friends and Discrimination and social responses to mental health problems on our companion website on the experiences of people with severe mental health problems.) While a few carers said their involvement with people outside their family had not changed much because of caring for loved ones diagnosed with ‘mental illness’, many described feeling at times isolated from society.
Quick Links
Silence and its consequences
Misperceptions about mental health and severe ‘mental illness’ in society
Supports in the community
When
Rowan became the primary carer for his wife, he felt increasingly isolated because he said the hospital discharge process left him ‘flying on his own’.
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Yep. When you get – well on your last discharge and all of the other ones as well, the psychiatrist as part of the discharge process they’ll go over, “Right, this is her medication, here are the scripts. You’ll need to go and do this or whatever”, they’ll tell you what to do. It’s all about the patient and you get home and you’ve got, if you’re lucky, you’ve got paperwork, if you’re not, you don’t. And you very much feel like you’re flying out there on your own, in relation to, ‘What am I supposed to do?’
But the worst part of it is, ‘Where do I turn?’ Because along the way, things are going wrong for carers and you don’t see it. You’ll notice that your own health goes, your finances can take a tumble. You employment can be affected, drastically. There were a number of different factors that you’re balancing, along with trying to do the best you can for your loved one and your friends could well disappear. You’ll find that they slowly back off, depending on the severity of the person that you’re looking after.
We talk about mental health patients in my instance here and they can be very challenging and also, you can’t, say, trust them to be alone for very long or it can actually have a negative impact on their health as well. They can get anxiety. They can get very anxious. ‘Is that person coming back?’ You know, you hear the old story, “He went down the road for a packet of cigarettes and came back 10 years later”. They do go through a lot of funny little emotional sort of things as well, so you’ve have to be very careful about that and so you become very socially isolated, as well.
Your fear of going anywhere can have its effect on not just appointments and things, but actual – a social isolation where your interaction with other humans becomes zero. In fact, the only people that you start to interact with you can find are medical practitioners, in relation to the person that you’re caring for and their health. That’s the only interaction that you’ve got or maybe some social workers or whatever that are all relating to the person you’re caring for and you find, when you’re sitting down and you’re on your own, finally, if they’re asleep or doing something, you don’t break into bloody tears, you are wondering, ‘Where is my help?’ Because, to be quite honest, I need it.
The carers interviewed described different barriers to participating in relationships with others. One exception was Alexia, who said her work as a carer consultant led her to become involved with people from outside her own ethno-cultural background.
Tracey’s social isolation was fed by her feeling of being in a ‘bubble’ of ‘ups and downs’ caring for her partner diagnosed with ‘clinical depression’. By contrast, she felt life continued on as ‘normal’ for everyone else.
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No. I think it’s like just a roller coaster ride, especially for a carer because, you know, you feel like you’re sort of the one trying to be their voice of what they would be if they weren’t in that depressive illness.
And is there also a sense that, ‘Wow, this is really – to put it mildly – intense’? And yet the world around us goes on as though you’re not having this intense …
Yeah, I think so. I think that that probably feeds a lot of the isolation, is that, you know, you’re having this just complete intense roller coaster time at home or wherever, and everything else kind of carries on as situation normal. And, you know, you may – because you’re just in this bubble of ups and downs and, and whatnot, you know, other things – sometimes you forget that it’s someone’s birthday or whatever. But, yeah, life does just carry on for everybody else around you. And I guess that can add to your isolation.
Silence and its consequences
Most carers spoke about feeling socially isolated due to their friends, colleagues and others in the wider community’s avoidance of talking about severe mental health problems. Sometimes carers consciously chose not to talk about ‘mental illness’ in the family. For example, Alex said his late wife thought talking to anyone about their son’s severe ‘mental illness’ would jeopardise their son’s career and marriage prospects. In other instances, it was the person being cared for who asked the carer not to discuss his or her mental health problems outside the family.
Julie’s teenage daughter did not want Julie to talk to anyone at her school about her experiences of depression.
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Oh yeah, the other thing I thought of, yes, the other thing that made it difficult initially for diagnosis was that my daughter didn’t want me to tell anybody.
Why not?
Well I guess she was feeling, yeah, she didn’t want me to tell – she didn’t want me to talk to anybody at school about it. And maybe it, I could have got help more easily or more quickly talking to a school counsellor perhaps might have been something I could have done. But she was sort of saying, “Oh, I don’t want people at school to know about this”. And I wanted to respect that. I was talking to, well initially I think I was so shocked about it I didn’t even talk to any of my family and friends about it, initially.
And that’s what sort of contributes to the difficulty of either you’re not ready to talk about it or your – or the person you’re caring for is not ready to talk about it. Because once you actually start talking about it, it becomes easier to deal with. And so, yeah, that’s I guess part of our experience that made it harder. So trying to deal with that sort of issue up front would be something that could help everybody. The carer and the person as well, how do you deal with talking to people?
While some people said their friends stayed away after they became caregivers, others described how they became self-isolated. Elena recalled how her family unwittingly isolated themselves from their social network. They stopped visiting neighbours and inviting people over because they felt unable to explain Elena’s son’s ‘unpredictable behaviour’ to their friends. By contrast, Rowan said his friends stopped seeing him because they felt ‘uncomfortable talking about his wife’s mental illness’. He described feeling ‘very much alone’.
Rosemary said the ‘enormous fear’ of ‘mental illness’ in the wider community left her feeling isolated in a ‘no man’s land’.
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I got the very best Mother’s Day present this year. [Daughter] asked, my daughter asked if we could go over to her place for Mother’s Day tea. And she said, “Ask him if he will come”, and he came. Very uncomfortable [laughs], and we bought Chinese food, but he was out, and I had to go home quickly, I couldn’t make it too long, because you could see that he wasn’t going to cope with a long visit. But – and this is since he’s got the diagnosis, and since he’s got the medication. So I am hopeful.
But, you know, as I get older, I really worry. I worry because his [other siblings] take not much notice. I think there is an enormous fear of mental illness generally in the community, and I think there is an enormous fear that I have been receiving from them. They’ve just got on with their own lives, and they’ll ask about him, and they were certainly concerned when he was in hospital, but it’s not an ongoing supportive concern, either for him or for me. So yes, no man’s land is really a horrible place to be, and I believe I’ve been there most of my son’s life.
In contrast, others thought ‘mental illness’ was less hidden now than in the past. Long-term carer, Bev, and young carer, Tracey, said they thought discussion of ‘mental illness’ was now ‘more out in the open’. However, Bev observed there is still ‘a huge way to go’.
Sasha said mental health issues were ‘more spoken about’ in her regional town today than in the past. However, she felt she had not received much support from her community.
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How has the attitudes of the rural community towards mental illness in general and your son’s mental health issues in particular contributed to, I guess, the challenges that you’ve faced?
Well probably not enough awareness of it even though, you know, that you have seminars here on all sorts of things and depression. There’s probably a lot more awareness now because of the information, the education with our, with health services and also with the droughts that they have in the country areas and the long periods of droughts affects farmers very badly.
So there’s probably been, you know, more mental health issues in the area than there was before. So it’s more spoken about. Our son probably hasn’t been here long enough during his mental illness to have got much support and I would say he probably hasn’t had support from his mates. They probably don’t understand him, you know, and don’t need to be near him.
They’ve gone on with their lives and, you know, have not been any support and I would say the general community don’t know how to support you. We feel as though we don’t get any but I also understand that they wouldn’t know how to approach you anyway. So, yeah, they just like to treat you as they always have, you know, normally. It’d be only a few people that would ask how are things going, probably for fear of upsetting you.
It’d only be a few people that would know that that is helpful. Just saying, you know, “How are you going, how are you travelling?” you know, “Give us a ring if you want to talk”. That doesn’t really happen. So even though country communities are very friendly communities, they probably don’t like anything, yeah, conflicting or, yeah. So I don’t think we really have had a lot of support.
Misperceptions about mental health and severe ‘mental illness’ in society
Many carers talked about what they saw as widespread but inaccurate beliefs about people experiencing severe mental health problems. They felt these beliefs caused the community to be fearful of people diagnosed with severe ‘mental illness’ and avoid interacting with both them and their carers. Several carers recalled how they themselves had felt fearful when they were first told of their family member’s diagnosis. Kate said finding out about her brother’s ‘diagnosis of schizophrenia’ was ‘very confronting’. She attributed this to ‘misconceptions’ she had had about ‘mental illness’ at that time. However, this was not the case for all carers, including Saskia who said she had had no ‘preconceived idea about schizophrenia’ before her sister was diagnosed. Later on, Saskia said she observed people’s reactions when she told them about her sister’s diagnosis. Their responses made her ‘realise’ that the common (mis)understanding of schizophrenia caused many people to feel their own ‘safety was at risk’.
The main beliefs that carers felt created ‘fear in the community’ about people diagnosed with severe ‘mental illness’ were that they could be ‘violent’ or ‘aggressive’; that ‘mental illness’ was linked to criminal behaviour and that illicit drug use caused mental health problems. Many identified media portrayals of severe ‘mental illness’ on television and movies as one main source of common misconceptions about people diagnosed with severe ‘mental illness’. Elizabeth talked about her concern that media portrayals of people diagnosed with severe ‘mental illness’ as ‘violent’ predisposed members of the public to feel afraid of someone like her ‘very tall’ son.
James described how widespread beliefs that linked severe ‘mental illness’ to illicit drug use and crime were mistaken in his son’s case.
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Oh I think there’s a few things, there’s a few things. I think some of the issue is around drug taking. I believe there’s some people will say that probably causes the problem you know where I, from speaking to psychiatrists and carers and that that work in the thing, they say, “No”. They don’t believe, they believe people have a problem and then drugs medicate. That it’s sort of a self-medication type thing. So I suppose that’s one conception.
And I suppose the average person would probably think that crime and murder and that is probably a result of mental illness where that’s not necessarily true. You probably get some problems if people don’t take medication and then they can become – their behaviour probably becomes unpredictable. But if people have medication and so on they’re behaviour is okay. They’re not – my son’s not violent or anything.
Saskia talked about the common belief that people diagnosed with severe ‘mental illness’ posed a danger to others. She said this was an obstacle to the social engagement of carers and the people they care for.
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It seems like people perceive it as being yeah, as I think the sort of most negative end of the scale, is that people have perceived [sister] as being a violent person that could harm them physically and that she would be unpredictable and dangerous in some way, shape or form which I didn’t know that was a preconceived idea about schizophrenia before. Having met people that thought that, yeah, like when I did try to live with my sister we found a house together but we had a spare room. So we thought we’d get a housemate and we thought that maybe that would help us you know sort of try to function more normally in some way.
And we did some interviews and we were very upfront with people about the situation that we’re in but then one person turned around and said to me, “But will I be safe here?” Which, yeah, I sort of realised that, ‘Oh, okay people do perceive this as being a dangerous illness to themselves physically’.
And that perception sort of militates against participation if the person who is, if the patient feels themselves to be [a cause of] fearful [feelings on the part of other people]?
Yeah, of course that’s going to be getting in the way of being able to be part of the community.
[And getting in the way of] feeling that one’s welcome [in the community].
Yeah, and accepted and understood and valued.
Supports in the community
Many people suggested ways of supporting carers to feel more included in society. They considered improving the community’s knowledge through education about severe ‘mental illness’ was important to address common misperceptions about severe mental health problems. Some recommended increased social interaction with people experiencing severe mental health problems would help reduce fear in the community. Bronwyn said many people did not realise that with the right medication and support from health practitioners and family, people experiencing severe mental health problems could live and function ‘like anybody else’. She said many people probably ‘worked right beside’ a person with severe mental health problems and did not know it.
Katherine described how her first-hand ‘exposure’ to her son’s mental ill health problems meant she felt comfortable talking to strangers who appeared ‘unwell’.
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We had a guy up at the park who was homeless and probably had a mental illness – lovely guy and because I knew about mental illness I wasn’t frightened of him. And people would come up and they’d say to me, “Aren’t you frightened?” I’d go “No, I’ve spoken to him and I have an easy relationship with him”. But they were even too frightened to talk to him. I don’t know what they think he’s going to do, but they – and it’s the same in the press, that there’s this notion that people who’ve got a mental illness are dangerous.
Even though they keep, you know, people like [Australian psychiatrist] keep coming out and saying people with mental illness are the same as everybody else; in fact they have less of a history of aggression. Mostly the aggression’s against them, but people are still frightened. They’re still frightened because the fear comes from lack of familiarity with what’s happening. Like there was a woman just told me the other night that she was up at the park and there was a guy who’d walked in with a dog, a guy who doesn’t normally come to our park.
And he kept saying, “Help, help, help”, and so she went over and she said to him, “Is, is there something wrong”? He said, “No, I’m just calling my dog”. She said, “He seemed very odd”, so she said, “I was a bit worried so I left”. “Well that”, I said “That’s a sensible thing to do” because you know if you’re not sure of somebody’s behaviour you don’t stay too close. You keep yourself safe, but you know, our first reaction is fear when something’s unfamiliar. You know and we all – I laughed and said, “Well perhaps he has named his dog ‘Help'”. You know, like what a funny thing to do, you know, like call your dog you know – so then we were going through all the names we could call our dog that would be funny to call out…
“Fire, Fire”.
You know, “Doctor, Doctor” or “Fire, Fire” or something like that. But yeah, it’s to do with fear and I would have been the same probably before I’d been exposed to mental illness first – to a psychotic illness first off, first hand.
Saskia emphasised the need to educate the wider community about what living with severe mental health problems ‘really is’ like.
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I also think it’s kind of got to do with being you know, mental illness being so stigmatised and especially schizophrenia. People – the word, it scares people and you know I don’t think I really came to terms with you know who I was and what I was doing with my sister because it wasn’t talked about in, you know in the wider community like it sort of wasn’t acceptable. You sort of, it was almost, it was an outside pressure as much as an internal one I feel like to be you know successful and to I don’t know, yeah, manage life.
How then might – how do we reduce stigma do you think?
I just think it’s about having contact with people that suffer from mental illnesses. I mean I don’t, obviously like you know, film and video is going to have an impact on that but I really do think it’s about having direct contact with people with mental illness or – and also just being educated about what it really is and not what it is on television or in that particular movie. Or hearing reports about so and so who shot so and so because he was schizophrenic and stuff like that.
Some carers described existing supports that helped them open up lines of communication and create relationships between themselves, the persons they cared for, and the wider community. A few carers described how, over time, they became comfortable discussing their loved ones’ mental health problems with others.
When
Bev’s son moved into his new unit, Bev talked to his neighbours about his severe mental health problems. Bev said they have provided ‘fantastic’ support for her and her son since then.
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I feel that mental illness is more out in the open now whereas once you’d hide it or try to hide it and people didn’t really understand. I still think there’s a huge way to go, how people perceive a mental illness and the public are – not all – a lot of the public really are scared of mental illness and don’t know how to approach a person with a mental illness and they’re treated like an outsider.
So I let it out into the open. I talk about it when I can to make people aware of what it is. And when my son shifted to his new unit I spoke to his immediate neighbours because he’s in a block of new units and they’re amazing the way they treat him. But I let them know from the start, “Well this is my son and this is his problems” and they’re fantastic how they treat him.
So by letting them know they understand he has got an illness and there’s times that he will hide himself in his unit and not come out. If they don’t see him for a few days they’ll get in touch with me and say, even though he just lives on the corner from me now, “Oh, we haven’t seen him for a few days, is everything all right?” So they’re aware of it and it’s a big jump for us in that respect that, how he’s treated by them.
People often ‘opened up’ to
Julie about how mental ‘illness’ had touched their own lives when she told them about her daughter’s experiences of depression. In response, Julie said she would ’empathise’ or share information about existing supports.
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No, well, the issue of things like mental illness is people don’t talk – you know, don’t talk about it. What my experience has been now is I talk about it and I talk to – people ask me, how’s my daughter and I’ll say, “She’s suffering from depression”. And people go, “Oh”. And then they actually open up and start telling you that there’s somebody that they know that’s struggling with mental illness because my experience now is, my understanding is everybody’s family has probably had some experience of mental illness in some way.
So my strategy is now, “Let’s talk about it, let’s acknowledge that it’s part of everyday life for many people”. And let’s – and that then opens up a conversation for me to be able to say to people, “Well do you realise that there’s people like [non-governmental mental health organisation] who are there to help support you if you need it?” Or at least have a conversation with someone to say, “Yeah, I’ve been going through a similar thing and it’s really tough”, and be able to empathise with them as well.